So I am turning 30 today, it hasnt happened quite yet, but it will. My old friend use to say, "youth is wasted on the young." He actually use to say it to me since he was about 7 years older, so he was 30 when I met him. I never understood what he meant, until now. I am 30 (age-wise) but feel like I am still 25. It's the craziest thing how time passes so quickly.
My twenties have given me so so so much. They have made me laugh and made me cry. They have seen me graduate from college, get my first job, a multitude of interviews, have huge disappointments like not getting into med school (a blessing in disguise), a break-up with what I thought was the love of my life, finding the true love of my life....it has just been so much. All of this adds up to one simple fact. My twenties made me who I am today. It taught me what I would put with, who my friends truly are, that your family is seriously the best thing in this entire world, and that you are the coolest person you know. I feel like my childhood gave me the lessons to figure out my twenties and my twenties gave me the perspective to make the rest of my life great.
Thank you to my twenties, it has been one hell of a ride.
Friday, April 6, 2012
Monday, January 25, 2010
its done!
so i went to nyc, i did the interview, i stayed with a complete stranger, i rode the subway alone :), and i made it back ok!
i think the interview went really well but only time will tell!! she said it can take anywhere between 3-6 months, but that shes never seen it take longer than 6! (lucky me!)
anyway ill keep you posted. other than that things are ok :)
i think the interview went really well but only time will tell!! she said it can take anywhere between 3-6 months, but that shes never seen it take longer than 6! (lucky me!)
anyway ill keep you posted. other than that things are ok :)
Thursday, January 14, 2010
NYC
so i booked the ticket for nyc.
i am contemplated doing those sublet/temp housing thing at someone's apt vs. staying at a hotel. its half the price! i just dont want to get murdered.
she seems legit she has a cat and is a director...has her own website and what not. if i was gonna kill someone i wouldnt list my website address on my craigslist posting. it has pictures and everything....
any thoughts? is this a legit way to go??
advice?
i am contemplated doing those sublet/temp housing thing at someone's apt vs. staying at a hotel. its half the price! i just dont want to get murdered.
she seems legit she has a cat and is a director...has her own website and what not. if i was gonna kill someone i wouldnt list my website address on my craigslist posting. it has pictures and everything....
any thoughts? is this a legit way to go??
advice?
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Rain boots
I bought rain boots, I have been wanting them for some reason. They finally came in yesterday, today God blessed us with an awful rainy day. Coincidence? I think not! God is on my side :)
Crocheting...
so i need a hobby. ive always wanted to learn how to crochet nows the time. the only problem is i always want to spell it crotcheting. not sure why, im just a weirdo i guess. well i think we already knew that.
so i already promised my sister this would be my first project: 
ok ok not really thats from one of my moms old crocheting mags.
this is my real first project:
im not being selfish, im making something for myself first so that if it sucks noone will have to be ashamed to wear it!frankstein...(graphic)
Ok so i promised my oh so fabulous friend that i would explain my stitches. if any of you know me, you know im clumsy as hell and that if anything happens its likely gonna happen to me. that means if ever givent the opportunity to ride a semi-dangerous ride at one of those pop-up parking lot carnivals i would nicely decline.
anyways so i was walking in my parents house, it was late and i was wearing heels (problem numero uno), had a had a beer or two (sure who doesnt), were my arms full (of course im practically a pack mule). well for the average person this may mean nothing but for a girl like me this is a recipe for disaster!
i slipped, fell, and without my arms to catch myself landed right on the right corner of my glasses. they of course broke (under the weight of my lithe frame :)) and the serrated heavy plastic commenced to slice into my face. when i realized what had happened i was stunned i was dripping bright red blood. i rush over to the mirror and see this! (graphic!)
I am thinking certainly this cant be real! and I split my new glasses to fuuuuuck!
So i decide to just try and control the bleeding and see what we can do about it in the morning. i go to bed get up and it still looks the same!!!
oh shit but im such a wimp i dont want stiches!! as my mom will tell you when i was 6 the doctor tried to give me stitches on my forehead after i feel on the playground and split my head open. i didnt want them so i wailed for 15 mins straight and instead i got a nice huge bandage and scar to deal with for the rest of my life!
thankfully i have very good friends :) and one suggested i go to the doctor before the window of opportunity of stitches closed and i was left with another huge scar and certianly would be unmarriagable at that point. i took her amazing advice and thankfully got the stitches (almost cried like a baby dont think that old guy put in enough anesthesia) and lessened the likelihood of an awful scar, not to mention i think it would have taken months to heal the other way!
so now i look like this:
Well really i look like this:
So noone at work has noticed :) Woohoo ill try not to die skiing, pray for me
anyways so i was walking in my parents house, it was late and i was wearing heels (problem numero uno), had a had a beer or two (sure who doesnt), were my arms full (of course im practically a pack mule). well for the average person this may mean nothing but for a girl like me this is a recipe for disaster!
i slipped, fell, and without my arms to catch myself landed right on the right corner of my glasses. they of course broke (under the weight of my lithe frame :)) and the serrated heavy plastic commenced to slice into my face. when i realized what had happened i was stunned i was dripping bright red blood. i rush over to the mirror and see this! (graphic!)
I am thinking certainly this cant be real! and I split my new glasses to fuuuuuck!
So i decide to just try and control the bleeding and see what we can do about it in the morning. i go to bed get up and it still looks the same!!!
oh shit but im such a wimp i dont want stiches!! as my mom will tell you when i was 6 the doctor tried to give me stitches on my forehead after i feel on the playground and split my head open. i didnt want them so i wailed for 15 mins straight and instead i got a nice huge bandage and scar to deal with for the rest of my life!
thankfully i have very good friends :) and one suggested i go to the doctor before the window of opportunity of stitches closed and i was left with another huge scar and certianly would be unmarriagable at that point. i took her amazing advice and thankfully got the stitches (almost cried like a baby dont think that old guy put in enough anesthesia) and lessened the likelihood of an awful scar, not to mention i think it would have taken months to heal the other way!
so now i look like this:
Well really i look like this:
So noone at work has noticed :) Woohoo ill try not to die skiing, pray for me
christmas adventure
so not sure if you all heard but i had the brilliant idea of taking my cat with me to Arizona to visit my sister ms. justice out in AZ. almost all of my family has decided to break normal tradition and spend Christmas at ms. j's new house. well my cat is a lover, def not a fighter, well a lover when he's ready to be loved (like all cats really).
anyways so i think I'm really clever (although very nervous) and decide that ill just slip the little guy a micky (well in the form of children's benadryl which i stupidly entrusted my mom to buy for me and she bought the grape kind which i think added to the whole fiasco I'm about to blog about).
so on the way there i give him the pill in a greenie's pill pocket, basically a cat treat that is suppose to disguise the blasted thing. well he literally chews it once and spits it out. he's totally like "wooooooooooooooooooooooooooaaaahhhhhhh that ain't chicken and livers, its grape chicken and livers." he knows from word on the street that grape chicken and livers is the equivalent of a roofie!
what a bastard....but i think some got into his system bc by and large he was sedated as we got to the airport. i had to pull him out of the carrier and walk him through the metal detector with me, which he was ok with. the staff there weren't equally ok. one commented "that's not a cat that's a mountain lion." of course, the cat resented the remark and i kinda thought it was a compliment, i mean mountain lions are pretty bad ass, they will tear your ass up! he had no problem the rest of the way, chilling at the airport bar while my family enjoyed an adult beverage. i mean how many cats can say they've been to a bar!!! (and I'm not talking about eating out of a bar's trashcan!)
anyway despite my paranoia and constant opening and closing of the zipper on the plane to touch and make sure he was still alive (so much so that it prompted my sis to say "stop or you ll break the zipper") he did pretty well.
it was the way back where he really enacted his revenge. he refused to take any of the roofie! even when i tried to force feed it to him, i mean dont get me wrong hes a strong cat, fighting for his life he thinks....man it didn't end pretty for me. i was covered in scratches and more than that i knew i had gotten him worked up which killed me bc i knew he was gonna get even further worked up on the plane. well as soon as i tried to take him out of that carrier, he spread his four paws in the four corners of the carrier and held on for dear life....when i did finally get him out, i literally looked like one of those cartoons that has the cat attached to her head! he was not happy! and to make matters worse the damn security guards were sooo witty, "so did you sedate that thing?" wtf do you think I'm wearing the fucker like a hat!! i mean isn't it obviously that we are both pretty stressed and could do without the overtly snide comments...
well he got on the plane and got home and then went promptly to my parents bed and fell asleep for a few hours, jet lag or whatever you call it in the cat world. i don't think he'll be traveling for awhile...but who knows he might have already booked an int'l flight!
anyways so i think I'm really clever (although very nervous) and decide that ill just slip the little guy a micky (well in the form of children's benadryl which i stupidly entrusted my mom to buy for me and she bought the grape kind which i think added to the whole fiasco I'm about to blog about).
so on the way there i give him the pill in a greenie's pill pocket, basically a cat treat that is suppose to disguise the blasted thing. well he literally chews it once and spits it out. he's totally like "wooooooooooooooooooooooooooaaaahhhhhhh that ain't chicken and livers, its grape chicken and livers." he knows from word on the street that grape chicken and livers is the equivalent of a roofie!
what a bastard....but i think some got into his system bc by and large he was sedated as we got to the airport. i had to pull him out of the carrier and walk him through the metal detector with me, which he was ok with. the staff there weren't equally ok. one commented "that's not a cat that's a mountain lion." of course, the cat resented the remark and i kinda thought it was a compliment, i mean mountain lions are pretty bad ass, they will tear your ass up! he had no problem the rest of the way, chilling at the airport bar while my family enjoyed an adult beverage. i mean how many cats can say they've been to a bar!!! (and I'm not talking about eating out of a bar's trashcan!)
anyway despite my paranoia and constant opening and closing of the zipper on the plane to touch and make sure he was still alive (so much so that it prompted my sis to say "stop or you ll break the zipper") he did pretty well.
it was the way back where he really enacted his revenge. he refused to take any of the roofie! even when i tried to force feed it to him, i mean dont get me wrong hes a strong cat, fighting for his life he thinks....man it didn't end pretty for me. i was covered in scratches and more than that i knew i had gotten him worked up which killed me bc i knew he was gonna get even further worked up on the plane. well as soon as i tried to take him out of that carrier, he spread his four paws in the four corners of the carrier and held on for dear life....when i did finally get him out, i literally looked like one of those cartoons that has the cat attached to her head! he was not happy! and to make matters worse the damn security guards were sooo witty, "so did you sedate that thing?" wtf do you think I'm wearing the fucker like a hat!! i mean isn't it obviously that we are both pretty stressed and could do without the overtly snide comments...
well he got on the plane and got home and then went promptly to my parents bed and fell asleep for a few hours, jet lag or whatever you call it in the cat world. i don't think he'll be traveling for awhile...but who knows he might have already booked an int'l flight!
whats my problem
so back in the day, and by that i mean just last may (2009) i was totally jazzed and ready to move off to some foreign land in another state or country or anywhere that i could get a job. not only was i ready to move i was thrilled to do it.
fast forward 8 months and im sitting on the cusp of possibly that. although i am currently employed in what i would consider an "ok" job, earning what i would consider a "decent" salary, i have still been papering the country-side with applications. i have recently had a few interviews and one which i have scheduled for jan 22 in nyc.
so im here in sa thinking, why havent i booked my flight? whats wrong with me that now afterall the talk and the gaunlet ive thrown down i dont want to go? ill admit im scared. it would be starting over again. i am 27, not old by any standard (atleast i hope) but old enough to know that by now i want a savings account, i want a house, i want a circle of close friends, i want a family one day. starting over in a new city certainly doesnt proclude that by any means but it just seems like nyc was what i was using to run away. it was running away trying to forget things and one particular person that remained back in texas. i could start fresh, reinvent, find myself in a new way.
in these past 8months since graduation, i think have reinvented, i think i have challenged and found myself, i think i have left that person in the past. is this why nyc doesnt hold the same appeal? i no longer have the rose colored glasses that i once held and now see it as inpractical decision, especially financially.
the benefit to moving there would be obviously to work at a health department, somethign i think would be great for my career. there aint no health department like a manhattan one :) but i know next to noone there, some friends from college i havnet spoken to in years and dont even feel comfortable enough to call up for a room to spend the night. in texas i have friends, friends i would do anything for and who would likely do the same for me. i have the prospect of love, although entirely premature and not the reason i would stay, it is a consideration....
i thought blogging would help clear my head and to be honest it helps. it seems ive self-sabotaged bc flight prices keep goign up which only furthers my rationale against it...something is holding me back. i dont want to be a coward and not go just bc i know noone there because i think i could make a life for myself anywhere, im just weary of what i leave behind....
please feel free to comment and let me knwo what you think, thanks for letting me get this off my chest.
fast forward 8 months and im sitting on the cusp of possibly that. although i am currently employed in what i would consider an "ok" job, earning what i would consider a "decent" salary, i have still been papering the country-side with applications. i have recently had a few interviews and one which i have scheduled for jan 22 in nyc.
so im here in sa thinking, why havent i booked my flight? whats wrong with me that now afterall the talk and the gaunlet ive thrown down i dont want to go? ill admit im scared. it would be starting over again. i am 27, not old by any standard (atleast i hope) but old enough to know that by now i want a savings account, i want a house, i want a circle of close friends, i want a family one day. starting over in a new city certainly doesnt proclude that by any means but it just seems like nyc was what i was using to run away. it was running away trying to forget things and one particular person that remained back in texas. i could start fresh, reinvent, find myself in a new way.
in these past 8months since graduation, i think have reinvented, i think i have challenged and found myself, i think i have left that person in the past. is this why nyc doesnt hold the same appeal? i no longer have the rose colored glasses that i once held and now see it as inpractical decision, especially financially.
the benefit to moving there would be obviously to work at a health department, somethign i think would be great for my career. there aint no health department like a manhattan one :) but i know next to noone there, some friends from college i havnet spoken to in years and dont even feel comfortable enough to call up for a room to spend the night. in texas i have friends, friends i would do anything for and who would likely do the same for me. i have the prospect of love, although entirely premature and not the reason i would stay, it is a consideration....
i thought blogging would help clear my head and to be honest it helps. it seems ive self-sabotaged bc flight prices keep goign up which only furthers my rationale against it...something is holding me back. i dont want to be a coward and not go just bc i know noone there because i think i could make a life for myself anywhere, im just weary of what i leave behind....
please feel free to comment and let me knwo what you think, thanks for letting me get this off my chest.
Friday, October 23, 2009
sooo excited :D
ok so maybe im in the dark ages or something but im on a plane and they gave us free wifi coupons. this happens to be one of the super rare occasion, well the first occasion in fact where i have brought my laptop on a trip! wow so this maybe the coolest thing ever. on second thought, it could be the effect of the red wine loosening me up ;) who can say!
well after realizing that i booked my flight back for the wrong day and nearly missing my connection in atlanta, i am happily on my way to boston to watch a young couple in love be joined in the union of marriage. everytime i would tell someone at work that i was going to a wedding in boston they asked if it was a gay couple, i guess im missing something there. i try to keep the level of scandal up by saying its interracial but we all know thats not as glam as same sex.
speaking of same sex while on this plane the lovely couple across the aisle who happen to be two female rugby players are geting quite "cozy". youd think they were settling in for a nice romantic evening in front of the fire. i mean dont get me wrong i dont care if its 2 vaginas, 2 wangs, or one of each i dont need a show bc if i wanted one i could just look at porn right here on the internet or buy one of those juggs mazagines that they sell in airports (that still baffles me!!!) porn on a plane, no doubt a better movie a thousand times over than snakes on a plane.
nothing is entirely new in my life. i seem to be settling in at work quite well which is nice :) ill keep you posted. hasta luego!
Thursday, October 1, 2009
New experiences
So i am blogging from work again and a recent email was sent out that says all employees must now break down their time at the end of the week to alot the amoutn of time spent on each project and send it to the PI and copy our director on it...not sure where to alot this little ditty so ill keep it short...
i was driving to d-town the other weekend and for the first time ever it was to meet a new boy.
it felt strange.
it felt empty.
i rolled down my car windows on 75 to blow the thoughts out of my head...
it didnt work, he was still there.
it was the wrong highway to get to him and for that i was glad.
he is the past....
i left him behind on the 35 interchange.
but my dream on monday told me he still exists, maybe not physically but my mind is holding on somewhere and that needs to end.
how to make it end...
*deeper than i ever need to be but shockingly real.
i was driving to d-town the other weekend and for the first time ever it was to meet a new boy.
it felt strange.
it felt empty.
i rolled down my car windows on 75 to blow the thoughts out of my head...
it didnt work, he was still there.
it was the wrong highway to get to him and for that i was glad.
he is the past....
i left him behind on the 35 interchange.
but my dream on monday told me he still exists, maybe not physically but my mind is holding on somewhere and that needs to end.
how to make it end...
*deeper than i ever need to be but shockingly real.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
im baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack
so i know its been forever, so i thought it would be most appropriate to explain my answer to my abscence by blogging from work :). now you understand why i havent blogged in forever!
i recently moved to san antonio, i know i know back home but its for a JOB. Thats right folks you heard me right ive been able to scrounge up one of the most rare things on earth, employment! and not as a hooker! although judging by the size of my thighs recently i think garnering employment of that persuasion would be jsut as difficult.
so i am not going to lie to you and say things have been easy or even delightful btu im trying to look on the brightside of things, heres a quick demonstration.
1.the job is not quite what i wanted but BRIGHTSIDE its pays money
2. i am not exaclty qualified to do it BRIGHTSIDE ill be learning alot
3. i am living with my parents BRIGHTSIDE i can save some dough and get a new car
4. I left my friends behing BRIGHTSIDE i got closer to the crazy cantu clan
5. HE didnt even come to say goodbye to me BRIGHTSIDE fuck him
See how well adjusted and amazing i am???
Well when i got here i was really worried that i would basically fall into my old patterns of life: long distance relationship, poopy job, partying.
Turns out I am committed to not getting into al ong distance relationship (although i am kinda talking to someone in Dallas) , the job is OK not complete fecal matter, and im too old to party.
I miss my friends and i miss independence but it turns out mary and juan are pretty liberal with their 27yo single mother of a cat :) So i only plan on living there for a few months but it could be delayed with all these trips that i am going on...
I am getting to go to Boston, por un boda, to Baltimore to see my fabulous bff, to AZ for christmas with the familia, and to SKI in CO for the spring i mean how amazing is that--there is the matter of the ankle which will hopefully be worked out soon.
Since I havent blogged in sooo long I guess many of you dont know about "the fall heard around the world." Lets just leave it at i rolled my ankle and thus have made myself unmarriagable and inhibited any further exercising leaving my ass to grow to astronomical proportions. I mean i guess morbid obesity is just pure fate for me....lets leave it at that
Ok so these posts are going to become more regular, this is a promise..and not one of those politican promises a real promise like the kinda you make to your kids about santa being real....
I will leave you with some fun stuff about relationships and about amazing aggies are WHOOP!
http://tom-wfbc.itmblog.com/2009/09/23/would-you-like-fries-with-that/
This is pure genius...I mean it means and explains so much and who doesnt love tasty mcdonals fries????
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZDNJxodKrZY&NR=1
No words needed on this one kids
Truth be told I am doing just fine, there is room for improvement but when isnt there? I just want to keep moving and making sure that I dont stagnate cuz thats for loooosers.
I hope this finds all of you well and not having abandoned my fab misadventures bc there are sure to be many many more
i recently moved to san antonio, i know i know back home but its for a JOB. Thats right folks you heard me right ive been able to scrounge up one of the most rare things on earth, employment! and not as a hooker! although judging by the size of my thighs recently i think garnering employment of that persuasion would be jsut as difficult.
so i am not going to lie to you and say things have been easy or even delightful btu im trying to look on the brightside of things, heres a quick demonstration.
1.the job is not quite what i wanted but BRIGHTSIDE its pays money
2. i am not exaclty qualified to do it BRIGHTSIDE ill be learning alot
3. i am living with my parents BRIGHTSIDE i can save some dough and get a new car
4. I left my friends behing BRIGHTSIDE i got closer to the crazy cantu clan
5. HE didnt even come to say goodbye to me BRIGHTSIDE fuck him
See how well adjusted and amazing i am???
Well when i got here i was really worried that i would basically fall into my old patterns of life: long distance relationship, poopy job, partying.
Turns out I am committed to not getting into al ong distance relationship (although i am kinda talking to someone in Dallas) , the job is OK not complete fecal matter, and im too old to party.
I miss my friends and i miss independence but it turns out mary and juan are pretty liberal with their 27yo single mother of a cat :) So i only plan on living there for a few months but it could be delayed with all these trips that i am going on...
I am getting to go to Boston, por un boda, to Baltimore to see my fabulous bff, to AZ for christmas with the familia, and to SKI in CO for the spring i mean how amazing is that--there is the matter of the ankle which will hopefully be worked out soon.
Since I havent blogged in sooo long I guess many of you dont know about "the fall heard around the world." Lets just leave it at i rolled my ankle and thus have made myself unmarriagable and inhibited any further exercising leaving my ass to grow to astronomical proportions. I mean i guess morbid obesity is just pure fate for me....lets leave it at that
Ok so these posts are going to become more regular, this is a promise..and not one of those politican promises a real promise like the kinda you make to your kids about santa being real....
I will leave you with some fun stuff about relationships and about amazing aggies are WHOOP!
http://tom-wfbc.itmblog.com/2009/09/23/would-you-like-fries-with-that/
This is pure genius...I mean it means and explains so much and who doesnt love tasty mcdonals fries????
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZDNJxodKrZY&NR=1
No words needed on this one kids
Truth be told I am doing just fine, there is room for improvement but when isnt there? I just want to keep moving and making sure that I dont stagnate cuz thats for loooosers.
I hope this finds all of you well and not having abandoned my fab misadventures bc there are sure to be many many more
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
interesting
my little sister read my blog.
her comment: "your hilarious but really weird"
yes, yes i am
gotta love technology
so today i had my follow up interview for the va hospital job in san antonio. the interviewer was surprised that i lived in fort worth, apparently reading resumes is not part of the interview process. because of the four and half hour drive to have another real interview (id already made the trek once) she suggested an informal skype interview.
i had never used skype before, to say im not tech savvy is an understatment (i mean it took me 2 hrs to book some books on half.com and only was able to do it after some help from a friend--it took her two mins). anyways, i of course dont want her to know i dont know what the hell im doing so i tell i can help her set hers up.
we do a test run the day before the interview and everything went great. so today thinking there is no worries, i set myself up...dressy t-shirt and of course no pants. i mean its stinkin hot in here! so im just in my underpants like any respectable live-alone girl trying to skimp on the electric bill. well boy was that about to backfire!
as the interview started the sound wasnt working so they suggested calling my cell phone and just putting on the office speaker phone. i couldnt hear them so this would help with that and then they would just turn the computer sound down.
here lies the problem....my cell phone was in the bedroom i was in the living room. getting to my cell phone required that i stand and walk out of the room. in. my. underwear. of course, i could turn the laptop or angle it but i knew they were watching so it would look funny....instead i had to slink off to the side.
why am i so ridiculous? wouldnt a normal person just wear some fing pants!?!?!? of course, not ever being accused of being normal or rational i am trying to slink my pantless ass off to the bedroom.
i dont think they saw anything. they didnt say anything. not that i think they would have. she said i should be hearing from HR soon, so thats either
1. good news--a job offer
or
2. bad news--a sexual harassment lawsuit.
needless to say either way im on pins and needles...ill keep ya posted
miserable
packing is killing me! i literally am the biggest pack rat ever! i need to hire someone to throw away random stuff without me knowing...its like things i find i havent seen since i moved in here two years ago, instead of thinking damn i havent used this in two years i dont need it. I think awww thats where that was i missed it so much. its malarky!!!
on anothr note i am still jobless and loveless in fort worth so thats always exciting....honestly the jobless is way more disconcerting. i keep saying everything happens for a reason and shit like let go and let god, but really i know what those phrases are. They are just cliches thrown out by ppl in the depths of despair or maybe just as a means to rationalize their bad situation. Either way they dont mean much i just gotta catch myself before i use them too much.
ok this has to be quick i got to get back to packing...
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
you never know
so one of my biggest fears (aside from the very natural fear of being eaten by a killer whale) has always been my car breaking down in a strange, nothing-deserted, texas town and then being dragged into the woods, by a man very similar looking to the gentleman of texas chainsaw massacre, being torturedn and murder. i mean valid fear right?
well luckily, and i use the term luckily very loosely, my car just broke down in austin near downtown. so instead of an "other person skin-wearing freak" i just have to worry about fighting off the local crackhead, not a bad deal in my opinion. so as i look for someone to help me push my car out of the way i look at my options, none are looking to attractive. there is the man standing outside the pawn shop giving me the "ojo," the gentleman 4 times my body weight in front of his also broken down carpet cleaning van, and two older women filling their car up with gas. so i come to the conclusion that they are probably all looking at me with the same suspicious that my eye just cast their way, i mean afterall i am wearing a headband with some peacock feathers in it i mean i could be a freak. so i decide to go with the closest in proximity option, which happens to be the carpet cleaning gentleman. after i ask him he is more than willing to help, but just as he bends down to push i swear to ever-loving jesus that out of nowhere the crackheads come out of the woodwork and begin to descend on us. i mean really i have no idea where they were hiding somewhere in the camouflaged backdrop of the gas station parking lot and surrounding pawn shops.
the craziest part was that they were nicer than the gainfully employed gas station attendant! i mean that guy was a real dick i had to be down right rude to him. he was so pushy that i eventually told him
"i hope you dont have any kids in particular daughters because one day someone will treat them the way you just treated me"
he just stared at me like i had sprouted another head, i mean who knows with the fumes i had inhaled outside his station i might have....anyways the lesson was you really cant judge a book by its cover.
crackheads=helpful
gainfully employed gas station attendants=big assholes
:) now i am driving a minivan...on my way to true love probably with someone who thinks i am a soccer mom...hellz yay
Sunday, May 31, 2009
the mid-20s question
so as a mid-to-late 20s single girl, you have to wonder "where the hell are all the good guys?" so as i woman naturally i instantly think that men are lacking, i mean its certainly not us...we are just picky. my friend recently told me she overheard a guy talking to his friend, in his opinion unmarried women over the age of 30 must have something wrong with them. so as you can see the debate continues, but i have to wonder who is right?
many people will probably respond that is situation dependent, i mean there are crazy guys and there are crazy girls out there too. so here is my little insight that i just happened upon.
as women age they become independent. they spend more and more time alone and start to realize that really there isnt anything wrong with that. i think by nature men are far more likely to be "loners" then women, i mean lets be serious we wont even go to the bathroom alone. so as they spend more and more of their single lives alone, they actually begin to like it. you make your own schedule, spend your time as you see fit and things are planned and ruley the way we generally like them.
so when a new guy comes around who is maybe less-than-perfect, we have to wager: giving this independance and assured lifestyle for a different one. i dont think that necessarily makes us less prone to do it, in fact i think we are aching for the companionship...however as the time wears on and the novelty wears off (*remove rose colored glasses) you think is this better than being alone?
sometimes it is...sometimes it isnt. but what isnt there that was there in your early twenties is the assurance that if you throw this one back into the sea, you ARE going to be ok alone, in fact youve done it before and you kinda liked it. settling isnt an option, leave that for your later 30s ;)
this is just a thought feel free to respond...introspection is very interesting
Saturday, May 30, 2009
its never what you think it is...
mr fhk and i had close friends who were dating and one in particular comes to mind. this couple, kali and tyson had dated for probably 10 years. they had broken up before and gotten back together broken up again and gotten back together and such is the cycle. intermittently they have dated other people and what not. i recently had lunch with tyson and we were taking about what it takes to get over these people.
i always assumed that those two had managed to stay the best of friends and it boggled my mind. i mean even recently their dogs had mated and had puppies surely telling that one day the same would happen for them. its strange when you look at things on the outside, you just assume you know what is going on.
tyson let me know that there was no longer any hope of that happening again, in fact, they dont even speak anymore. WOW! i never suspected this...it is over finally over. he was talking about deleting her on myspace and facebook. the dreaded delete! he says he hasnt mainly because he doesnt want their connceted friends to hate him for it.
its weird how you think other peoples relationships are so much simpler than they really are...sometimes you wish you could do whatever procedure they did in eternal sunshine in the spotless mind...would it be worth it to remember none of it (good and bad) and leave you in a virtual time warp?
all i know is he told me that mr fhk's family doesnt like the new divorcee girlfriend, its sick but i get pleasure out of that...to know that some part of me will always remain in their memories. mr fhk's sister even uttered "shes no gaby" does that make it wose or better? not really sure all i know is that i need to let this go and get where tyson post-haste...it took him 6 years of stop and starts to realize this...i dont have that but that doesnt mean its not possible.
the new me.
ran three days in a row
yesterdays alcohol units: a bazillllion
ugh
my car sucks.
self-explanatory i think, but aleast it always abandons me in the most convenient locations so i cant be too mad at it.
it still sucks.
Monday, May 25, 2009
running
so i have decided that i dont want to be slightly overweight anymore which requires more action than i would prob like. so i have started a walking/running regime.
its painful.
i dont like not being good at things and i am not good at this...so that is tough. i saw my friend the other day and she has been walking (not running) once a day she looks awesome prob has lost 50 lbs. i dont want to loose 50 lbs, i just want to be fit.
so here it goes consistent running/walking day 1.
one and a half miles
alcohol units: 0
(lets see how long this lasts)
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