cultist?

so i decided today to take a good friends advice and start doing some stuff for myself, harness my chi if you will. after talking with lady K (who is the most knowledgeable person I know about whats out there on the internet) who pointed me in the direction of podcast yoga. its free! so i downloaded the beginner addition just to see what it was all about.

baby a gave me a yoga mat about 6 months ago so i even have the supplies. i pull it out and begin the session. hes talking about peaceful thoughts, etc, yadda yadda i am like can we get to the poses alredy?!?! perhaps i am a little high strung and need more yoga in my life...who knows. i look up and see my cat looking at me like im the strangest shit hes ever seen. 

his inner monologue: "wtf...that pink mat has been sitting under that table for over 6 months now this B wants to take up all the living room space flaunting her big ass...seriously i liked it where it was, it was fun to play with those strings. now i gotta watch your ass nearly fall over on me all while i attempt to throw off your concentration. damn this game is more fun than watching you walk around and pick up the ball you throw for me to play with. look B i know its you who is throwing that ball with the bell in it....i can SEE you (this is totally not the same kind of seeing you do when i am hiding behind a shoe or around a corner in an attempt to sneak up on said ball--totally different) i think ill change your sleep number tonight in an attempt to get even"

needless to say i felt completely out of place..at one point he says "check your ego at the door...do only what you can do" yes stretch armstrong i cant put my leg over my neck...but one day i will...